My dearest Sweetheart On Sunday I am going to try and be strong for you. The children are coming for a BBQ to celebrate your's and Gemma's birthday. We will raise a glass (or two) and try to smile in the way you taught us. You will be in our hearts and minds and I know it is going to hurt like hell. (Please help me to do it love). Everyone keeps telling me that the first of everything is the hardest, it isn't love. It is getting worse and time is cutting the wound even deeper. Remember the words in our rings love. To my darling on what should have been your 58th birthday.xx