Can\\'t believe it will be 4 yrs on the 18th darling since that dreadful day you died crying in my arms. There is never a day goes by that I ask why. You have now got mum there to look after you. She is at last where she wanted to be. I bet she isn\\'t proud of what I have had to face alone. Oh how I miss you all. The tears and pain just never ease and you are always on my mind. Please help me make the right decisions in the next few months. Always and Forever my darling. xxxxxx